I’m turning 30 in 20 days. My feelings have been shifting from excitement to passiveness to a little bit of dread. On most days, it’s passiveness. When I’m with my turning-30 friends, it’s pressure. It’s just another year, just another number. Why the fear of turning 30?
Perhaps a lot of it has to do with our own way we view these milesetone ages. Maybe the permitted craziness of the 20s is over, and being 30 means taking everything more seriously. You are officially a grown-up. You have to begin putting things into place, if you haven’t put them into place in your 20s – finances, living arrangements, career paths, family life, health. Perhaps in one’s 20s, one is allowed to be a bit clueless when it comes to these things. We’re still trying to learn the ropes after all. But when you’re in your 30s, there’s no excuse. You have to start shaping up so that in your 40s, you can retire early and have permission to be crazy again.
“Pressure, pushing down on me…”
Last year, a few friends and I wrote down “3 Things To Do Before Turning 30.” Of the 3 things I had written down, I only achieved one — “Go on a 2nd honeymoon.” On hindsight, those three things should’ve been more self-centric. I should’ve put “Get a drastic haircut” or “Get a tattoo” or other things that are crazy and concern my 20-something self more. Oh wait, the other two were self-centric. “Go back to 105 lbs.” and “Make X amount through blogging.” I didn’t take both seriously and I’m far far far away from achieving both goals.
3.0. I do feel the pressure to become more responsible. There are so many things I have to understand and settle well, part of which is my health. I really have to make time for check-ups and exercise. I already feel my metabolism slowing down. When I flip through a magazine, I’ll have to begin looking at the 30s portion of 20s, 30, 40s styling and caring for one’s skin. And woah.. what are those lines around my eyes?
Come to think of it, that’s the only scary part about turning 30, or growing older for that matter. Commanding responsibility. 30 is just like the alarm that wakes you up in the wee hours of the morning. It’s the jolt one may need to shape up. That’s the way it works for me anyway. This alarm may come earlier for others (at 25?) or later (better than never!). For me, it is this significant number that is my alarm clock. 30.
Pearls and Gold: The Promise of 30
While having to command responsibility seems like a daunting task, I believe I can handle it. I’ve got the support of loving family, friends and my H. There is also an analogy that is giving me inspiration.
Do you know what the traditional gift for 30th anniversaries are? Pearls. How are pearls formed? Let me see if I remember my science right. When an irritant enters an oyster’s shell, the oyster immediately covers this irritant with nacre. This is how a pearl is formed. The longer the irritant stays in the shell, the more nacre it is covered with, the better the pearl is.
My past 29 years have been very interesting and not without its hardships, or following the above example, its irritants. Hopefully all the hard work that I’ve been putting into the my past 29 years produce even more beautiful pearls on my 30th year. While I know I have some great pearls in my life now, I’m wishing my 30th year will have even better pearls. I’m entitled to a birthday wish, am I not?
There’s another exciting thing about turning 30. It’s my golden birthday! A golden birthday is when the person is the same age as his or her birthday. It comes once in a lifetime. 30 on July 30th. Sounds good to me! I want to celebrate my birthday with a golden theme. Come in gold? Have golden decorations? Come as your favorite Golden Girl? Come as a gold object? So many ideas. I want to celebrate my 30th in a grand way, but as each day passes I’m leaning towards having a quiet celebration with family. We’ll see.
Whew. Suddenly I’m not as scared as I thought I was. There’s still a little fear, but there’s more excitement. Wow. 30 years old. Sounds ancient. Sounds mature. Sounds serious. Sounds like it’s gonna be one swell ride.
It doesn’t sound that scary after all.
Hi! I'm Toni Tiu,
and I've been blogging at
at Wifely Steps since 2003. This started as a blog to help newly weds adjust to married life. It has evolved into a home and parenting blog. I write about things close to my heart -- good eats, good reads, family, marriage, and the little things that make everyday happy.
jher
July 10, 2007 at 4:36 pm (17 years ago)Advance happy birthday. Don’t worry about turning 30 dahlin. 30 is the new 20!
denden
July 10, 2007 at 6:22 pm (17 years ago)hi toni! you may turn 30 in 20 days but your looks is nowhere near 30. laging mukhang 20. take care
thess
July 10, 2007 at 6:45 pm (17 years ago)I say celebrate it with a bang, Toni! I know I will when I hit the big 4 next year (if God permits) …I always think of younger people dying every single day and I feel so blessed that I have reached today…
so my dear Toni, embrace the 30th year & don’t be scared cos baby, life is short 😉
renin
July 10, 2007 at 6:58 pm (17 years ago)advance happy birthday!!!
i also get scared of turning a year older… i simply feel that way.. but I’m looking forward to reaching your age…its a blessing to get old anyway, its a chance to savor life’s graces..
barbiegel
July 10, 2007 at 7:17 pm (17 years ago)pareho tayo, i am also turning 30 this year (september). Napapareflect din tuloy ako, may pinagkatandaan ba ako, he he. Advance happy birthday to both of us
Sheila
July 10, 2007 at 7:56 pm (17 years ago)You are so young Toni! I just turned 31 last month and I wish I could just turn 30 all over again. Honestly though, its not bad to be at this age/stage. I look better— I have better fashion sense, have a whole array of kikay products, I have time to exercise and watch what I eat now. I’m more independent, I know what I want in life, I have time to travel, and because we worked so hard in our 20s we can be more secure and comfortable in our 30s. No need to dread 3-0, its a great age to be.
Pepe
July 10, 2007 at 9:16 pm (17 years ago)women are sexier at their 30’s….:p
maryrose cabreros
July 10, 2007 at 9:48 pm (17 years ago)advance Happy birthday Toni!
I turned 30 last year, and after reading your blog, I suddenly got to thinkng…what can I say for myself after reaching the big 3-0? What have I achieved after a year? Have I done atleast 1 thing that made a difference? Am I the same person? Seems like turning 31 is becoming an even greater concern… = )
You’re right about one thing, it’s the bigger responsibilities as an adult that makes reaching this age scary. It’s like your left with no room for mistakes anymore. Turning 30 last year was also a milestone for me for another reason….it’s my first time in 15 years to be living away form my hubby. (he was my one and only BF since sophomore year HS) = ( He left for a two-year contract in Qatar. So I’m left with the pressure of managing the household, keeping a fulltime job and taking care of two beautiful girls (6 & 2) How’s that for turning 30? Command Responsibility suddenly reached a whole new meaning for me.
But don’t worry it’s been one swell ride too. = ) So enjoy and embrace it! I think whatever age you’re in, you’re only as young and alive as you make yourself to be.
And you know what they say…30 is the new 20s!!! so it’s like we never get old!
Enjoy Golden Girl!!! = )
abby
July 10, 2007 at 9:54 pm (17 years ago)i felt the same pressure when i turned 29 since i seem to think that i only have a year left to be immature, hehe. i’ve learned to let go, i feel young so it’s not necessary to dread getting older. i’m sure it IS gonna be a swell ride for you!
Lisa
July 10, 2007 at 11:10 pm (17 years ago)My golden birthday was my 22nd, and I had no idea. Haha. That was my first birthday living with the husband though and we prepared a lovely dinner at home. Advance happy birthday, Toni! You’re going to rock your 30s.
Lissa
July 10, 2007 at 11:52 pm (17 years ago)I love your analogy of turning 30 with making pearls. It’s perfect!! I know that we’ve recently gotten in touch within the last few years but seeing you blossom into the woman you are now makes me proud to say that you’re a good friend of mine (despite the distance). So I wish you all the best for your 30th birthday. You truly deserve it. 😀
Christianne
July 11, 2007 at 3:02 am (17 years ago)Uy, my 30th birthday will also be my golden birthday! Apir 😀
That’s a few years ago pa but I should come up with my own list of things to accomplish/do before then. You’re right, birthdays are a good reminder that we’re not getting any younger and there is so much out there to experience! But not without taking care of our bodies and our pockets, right? *sigh*
How can we travel and do everything we want without breaking the bank? 😀
G.
July 11, 2007 at 7:01 am (17 years ago)30 is the new 21. i say throw yourself a ridiculously cool party, invite all your lovely friends and family, and have an awesome time.
it also helps that you look like you’re 21.
enjoy!
Leah
July 11, 2007 at 8:33 am (17 years ago)30 on the 30th!!! A sure celebration. We try to achieve goals in life and somehow being 30 makes it more achievable. I’m sure you’ll swell high in all of your goals.
To retire at 40? now that is a goal! and i’m stil wroking at it. Not happening in the next 10 or 20 yrs more for me. Here’s to happy early retirement! Cheers.
Cookie
July 11, 2007 at 8:52 am (17 years ago)Hay naku dear, wala yan. I’ve found out that the 30something years were the most exciting of my life so far. Got married, had children, travelled extensively with my soulmate, learned to be a wife and mother….and the list goes on. I’m going on 40 next year (Yikes!!) but I feel I can do it with much oomph because of what I’ve done and learned during my 30something years.
Congrats on this coming milestone, Toni!! Advanced Golden Birthday!! Hopefully everything you touch will turn to gold this coming year
Daphne
July 11, 2007 at 10:34 am (17 years ago)Don’t be scared Toni, it only gets better.
I will be turning 40 next year and I am still as irresponsible as ever hehe Ooops not a good picture is it? Bottom line is enjoy your 30sumthing years, it simply rocks so by the time you reach 40 your life starts anew, kuno or that’s what they say daw. Hehehe
Advance happy birthday Toni!
Tinster
July 11, 2007 at 11:53 am (17 years ago)i just want to say that you don’t look 30 or anywhere near that. you certainly had me fooled!
i’m scared about turning 30 too but with the wisdom that age will give me, i think i’d welcome it! advanced happy birthday toni!
jey
July 11, 2007 at 3:52 pm (17 years ago)i will also turn 30 this august, and yeap, sometimes it scares me. but somehow i’m so looking forward to the new “crazy” years ahead! cheers to 30!
Anne
July 11, 2007 at 4:22 pm (17 years ago)Advance Happy B-day
ajay
July 11, 2007 at 10:50 pm (17 years ago)Advance Happy Birthday ha! You might feel old being 30 but I swear it’s just the beginning. The nicest compliment I’ve ever received was “sana ganyan pa rin ako ka-sexy kahit 30++ na ako” … aaach!
fionixe
July 11, 2007 at 11:43 pm (17 years ago)wey ~ advanced bday ms. toni. ^_^ well, now that you’ve mentioned about the golden bithday, i celebrated mine 10 years ago. haha, i didn’t even know that.
i’m 22 years old right now and somehow paranoid on how the future will turn out for me ~ but reading your posts is a reminder that there is always a good thing in life to look forward to. thanks a bunch~
g~
July 12, 2007 at 12:37 am (17 years ago)ahhhh, i remember being quite trepiditous about 30.
then it came.
and went.
nothing changed.
it was very anticlimactic. 😉
it’s 40 when you get really wacked out. ~8^O
*lol* nah… my fortieth is coming toward the end of this year. when this new year hit, i was kinda like aaaarrrrrrgh! what will i DO?!?!?!??! i’m going to crumble into little crusty bits! *ew* ;
g~
July 12, 2007 at 12:39 am (17 years ago)oh, and i really like your layout/site design. i didn’t check the credits yet, but am very curious about who is resposible for such coolness! 😉
Meeya
July 12, 2007 at 2:22 am (17 years ago)ay madaya, i turned 3 on march 3rd (3 on 3/3). i was golden and i wasn’t even old enough to know it, hehe! but i did celebrate turning 30 on 3/3, pilit pero pwede na rin 😀 so hayun, i had the same fears when the big 30 came along, pero i learned to embrace it (wala naman choice, haha). to be able to reach that age is already a blessing and to have all that i have now at this age, it’s more than some people have so i’m very thankful . besides, it didn’t stop me from being silly or spontaneous, sino may sabi na hindi na pwede?! 😀 just dont’ forget to lay off the cholesterol, ahihi 😀 advanced happy bday toni!
rolly
July 12, 2007 at 4:36 am (17 years ago)Wow, you’re turning 30 and you don’t look it. Advanced happy birthday! Sana me EB tayo ulit para libre mo ko. hahaha
Michael
July 12, 2007 at 6:49 am (17 years ago)When I turned 30, i look back at life and my mind keep coming back to all the women who has been part of my life. A year later, my mind reeled of what could have been.
Via
July 12, 2007 at 12:20 pm (17 years ago)My mantra is: “with age comes wisdom and jewelry.” 😉 Welcome to the club and enjoy the ride!
ela
July 12, 2007 at 12:26 pm (17 years ago)hi toni! welcome to the big 3-0! ehehehe
totoo, it’s not scary after all…. at di naman tayo mukhang 30 e!
Rachel
July 13, 2007 at 1:40 am (17 years ago)lapit na pala ulit birthday mo ate toni parang kailan lang yon ha nabasa ko pa nga ung may balloons, something na magwwish kami or kung may isang balloon san ka naman dadalhin, im i right? hmm you still look young, so don’t worry about your appearance. pero yung mga pressures at responsiblity hindi talaga maiiwasan yan. lam mo ate i admire you parang sobrang blessed ka in all aspect tapos living so simple and super happy in everything. and maybe i love the way you think regarding life. you inspire me promise!
jojo
July 13, 2007 at 1:24 pm (17 years ago)advanced happy birthday!!!
age is just a state of mind. continue enjoying life. smile all the time, and you’ll feel 29 for the rest of your life
Em Dy
July 13, 2007 at 7:45 pm (17 years ago)Hi Toni. Happy birthday in advance. Age does not really matter, it’s just a number. The important thing is to age wisely while keeping the child in you.
chelsea
July 14, 2007 at 12:01 am (17 years ago)age is just a number
petite
July 14, 2007 at 12:03 am (17 years ago)advanced happy birthday, toni! welcome to ‘the other side’! 😉
to paraphrase a greeting card that made me smile: “fine women are like fine wine…they get better with age.” tayo yan! hahaha!
rowie
July 15, 2007 at 1:51 am (17 years ago)hey my 30th was my golden birthday too!
i made a “things to do before turning 30” list when we were in college, in one of our logbooks. hmmm, i wonder how many of those things i actually accomplished! it would be fun to find out.
30 is great, though. nothing at all wrong with 30. they say, “life begins …” and i have a feeling they may be right, in fact. it’s been a wonderful year for me and i’m sure it’ll be for you too! advanced happy birthday (i got it right this time).
aloi
July 16, 2007 at 11:35 am (17 years ago)happy birthday, and have a great celebration, toni! aww, c’mon, 30 is a fabulous age to be! young yet not immature. older yet slowly easing into aging gracefully. don’t you feel more confident in yourself, your body, and your abilities? it can only get better!
rach
July 18, 2007 at 12:20 am (17 years ago)Advance Happy Birthday Toni! I think one of the best things about turning 30 is that you managed to look young. May this be another milestone for you and give way to many more wonderful opportunities in life. I also wish you best of health. Take care!
betty
July 22, 2007 at 11:12 pm (17 years ago)It doesnt matter what age you are in, what counts is that you have made the best of time of the years that had gone by.
30s is a good age, you become more mature, people will look at you more seriously, you are now more stable and your experiences in the past have thought you some lifes lessons.Put it into good use!
Advanced happy bday!!!