Want some ice cream on that? How about extra icing? A cup of coffee? Tea? Candy flowers?

Now I wish I had something profound to share with you — a birthday reflection, a new life mantra perhaps. A lot of quotes are in my head but I’ll just go with this as it resonates the most with me for my 34th year:

Go have more fun!

Nothing profound about that really, but it’s all about keeping it real. It’s about keeping life in perspective. Say “yes” more often. Do one thing everyday that scares you (Shel Silverstein). Jump that chasm. Go sing in the shower. Park your projects list once sundown hits — tomorrow is another day. Claim your personal life (or reclaim it!). Wear your hair down! Take that nap. Polish those toenails. Sneak a kiss!

And have some cake.

Oh yeah, today’s my birthday. Thanks for celebrating it with me here on Wifely Steps. That makes for an awesome birthday present.

So, who wants another slice? And what do you want with your cake? Sprinkles? Extra caramel filling? Chocolate shavings? A milkshake? Think of the most fun you can have with cake and go with that. Whether it’s a slice of cake or a slice of life, a little more fun just makes your every day more interesting.

Want to see my new hair? <3

An impulsive trip to the salon and many snip-snap-snips later, my split ends were gone and so was most of my hair. Getting that haircut was so cathartic! Does getting a (good) haircut make you feel better too?

My longtime online friend Abbee, who’s more in touch with the universe than anyone I know (visit her blog!), said that the New Moon is in my sign which means my coming birthday (Saturday) “is perfect for romance & generally great beginnings! Fun, playful, promising, yay!” I needed that boost, especially since I’ve been having the birthday blues.

With that, might as well welcome the new year with a new ‘do right? I’ve already got better vibes. Goodbye split ends. Goodbye messy ‘do. Goodbye old bob. Out with the old, in with the new!

Ah, I feel better already. Just a little bit more and this roller coaster ride of a week will calm down.

Cheers to new hair and new vibes!

It’s almost 2 am. I’ve got a bunch of articles to finish up and a couple of projects to edit, but here I am staring at the computer screen, fingers flying as I half-struggle with the fact that I’ll be turning 34 in a few days.

3.4.

It’s not that bad an age. It sounds so… grown-up.

3.4.

That used to be my class number in gradeschool. My family name started with “P” and my class number never went earlier or later than the 30s. 34 was an almost constant number. Teachers would ask us to write our class numbers on cardboard cut-outs, wrap it in plastic cover and pin them to our shirts. Branded by numbers. The easier for them to organize a bunch of kids I guess.

3.4.

This late-night thinking is brought to you by a cup of coffee and a fear of what-the-hell-is-going-to-happen-next. Here’s the thing. It’s not the number that’s terrifying me. It’s the another-year-has-passed-and-have-I-done-anything-better-this-year-than-last-year that does. Plus the I’m-clueless-about-what-comes-next-even-if-I’ve-got-plans fear.

I’m a strong believer that you can’t really plan life, but hey, having some idea where you’re headed and more importantly, how you’re getting there provides comfort and stability like no other.

3.4.

I cried in the shower once. (Okay, maybe a few several times.) It was an overwhelming day. Budgets were tight, baby was extra energetic, husband was sick, my energy was waning, and I ran out of shampoo. Tipping point. After crying my weariness away, I stepped out of the shower. Then I opened the bathroom cabinet and saw an extra bottle of shampoo.

I knew things would get better.

When you’ve got hope, you’ll never be running on empty.

3.4.

If I ask you, “Are you where you planned to be?” What would you answer? I ask myself that now and I quickly answer, “No.”

Then I also answer, “But this is where I’m supposed to be.”

There’s a quote from Carl Sandburg, an American poet, that comes to mind. “I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.”

I think that’s what 34 for me will be all about. Heading in the direction that my gut is telling me to go for, while making well enough decisions to keep my mind sane.

3.4.

Yes, this is where I’m supposed to be. Age is just a number. Turning a year older is just another way of life saying “Congratulations! You win another year — go make the most of it!”

I should write down “34″ on a piece of cardboard, wrap it in plastic cover and stick it on my computer screen. It’d be my ra-ra sign, silently cheering me on — “Keep going!” “Stay strong!” “There’s shampoo in the bathroom cabinet!”

Numbers on cardboard cutouts. Aha. I knew my gradeschool teachers were on to something.

3.4.

I may not know where I’m headed but I know I’m on my way. I AM where I am supposed to be. I’m also supposed to be finishing up articles and editing projects. So thank you Universe for these blessings. Thank you Lord for another year to keep the course. I’ve got a LOT to do on this 34th year of mine. I might as well get started.

This is for all women. This is for anyone with daughters. This is a piece by Tara Sophia Mohr, a coach, writer and personal growth teacher. FYI — for your inspiration.

10 Rules for Brilliant Women

1. Make a pact. No one else is going to build the life you want for you. No one else will even be able to completely understand it. The most amazing souls will show up to cheer you on along the way, but this is your game. Make a pact to be in it with yourself for the long haul, as your own supportive friend at every step along the way.

2. Imagine it. What does a knock-the-ball-out-of-the-park life look like for you? What is the career that seems so incredible you think it’s almost criminal to have it? What is the dream you don’t allow yourself to even consider because it seems too unrealistic, frivolous, or insane? Start envisioning it. That’s the beginning of having it.

3. Gasp. Start doing things that make you gasp and get the adrenalin flowing. Ask yourself, “What’s the gasp-level action here?” Your fears and a tough inner critic will chatter in your head. That’s normal, and just fine. When you hear that repetitive, irrational, mean inner critic, name it for what it is, and remember, it’s just a fearful liar, trying to protect you from any real or seeming risks. Go for the gasps and learn how false your inner critic’s narrative really is, and how conquerable your fears.

4. Get a thick skin. If you take risks, sometimes you’ll get a standing ovation, and sometimes, people will throw tomatoes. Can you think of any leader or innovator whom you admire who doesn’t have enthusiastic fans and harsh critics? Get used to wins and losses, praise and pans, getting a call back and being ignored. Work on letting go of needing to be liked and needing to be universally known as “a nice person.”

5. Be an arrogant idiot. Of course I know you won’t, because you never could. But please, just be a little more of an arrogant idiot. You know those guys around the office who share their opinions without thinking, who rally everyone around their big, (often unformed) ideas? Be more like them. Even if just a bit. You can afford to move a few inches in that direction.

6. Question the voice that says “I’m not ready yet.” I know, I know. Because you are so brilliant and have such high standards, you see every way that you could be more qualified. You notice every part of your idea that is not perfected yet. While you are waiting to be ready, gathering more experience, sitting on your ideas, our friends referenced in rule five are being anointed industry visionaries, getting raises, and seeing their ideas come to life in the world. They are no more ready than you, and perhaps less. Jump in the sandbox now, and start playing full out. Find out just how ready you are.

7. Don’t wait for your Oscar. Don’t wait to be praised, anointed, or validated. Don’t wait for someone to give you permission to lead. Don’t wait for someone to invite you to share your voice. No one is going to discover you. (Well, actually, they will, but paradoxically, only after you’ve started boldly and consistently stepping into leadership, sharing your voice, and doing things that scare the hell out of you.)

8. Filter advice. Most brilliant women are humble and open to guidance. We want to gather feedback and advice. Fine, but recognize that some people won’t understand what you are up to (often because you are saying something new and ahead of your time). Some people will find you to be not their cup of tea. Some will feel threatened. Some people will want to do with your idea only what is interesting or helpful to them. So interpret feedback carefully. Test advice and evaluate the results, rather than following it wholesale.

9. Recover and restore. If you start doing the things that make you gasp, doing what you don’t quite feel ready to do, and being more of an arrogant idiot, you are going to be stretching out of our comfort zone–a lot. Regularly do things that feel safe, cozy, and restorative. Vent to friends when you need to. Acknowledge the steps you’ve taken. Watch your tank to see how much risk-taking juice you have available to you. When it’s running low, stop, recover and restore.

10. Let other women know they are brilliant. Let them know what kind of brilliance you see, and why it’s so special. Call them into greater leadership and action. Let them know that they are ready. Watch out for that subtle, probably unconscious thought, “because I had to struggle and suffer on my way up…they should have to too.” Watch out for thinking this will “take” too much time – when the truth is it always has huge, often unexpected returns.

Clear a path by walking it, boldly.

#1 is so relevant to me right now. What about you?