And just like that, March is over. The first quarter of my year was nothing short of eventful. I’d like to share with you the important things I’ve learned in the past 90 days:

“…if you analyze anything too much, nothing seems too good. Live.”
The postcard says it all. Thank you to PostSecret for sharing this. And thank you to the sender of this postcard.

The more people you meet in your lifetime, the more you can tell you who the truest of your friends are.
If life is an amusement park, then I was on the roller coaster countless times the past three months. It was plenty scary, but the love, support and sincerity of my truest friends and family made the ride kick-ass fun. Thank you friends. Thank you family. The screams of fright turned to screams of joy because of you.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help; you can’t always do things alone.
I’ve learned that learning to get help from others is not a form of weakness. Even the strongest of giants needs help now and then. I’ve been illuminated by a lot of helping hands, and am very much grateful for their compassion. There are plenty of good people who have a lot to give, and more importantly, enjoy giving. Guardian angels, that’s what they are.

Don’t let those bridges fall.
You’ll need those bridges to go back home, to reunite with loved ones, to connect with lost ones. Always, always value the relationships you have. If others put a “No Entry” sign on their bridge, it’s better to let it be than to burn it. Maybe they need time to do some repairs on their side. Take care of your side of the bridge, always.

Let life surprise you.

This is a cross-post from my other blog, So You’re Getting Married. I figured this would help some readers here at Wifely Steps too. Enjoy! If you have a similar experience, do share your story in the comments section!

My fiance (now husband) and I met with our minister a month before our wedding. Our minister asked, “Have you discussed your expectations?”

“Expectations?,” we both asked.

“It’s important to discuss your expectations from each other. For example, do you expect him to come home early after work? Is a home-cooked dinner something he can expect from you? Things like that,” our minister shared.

We both shrugged. Our minister sighed. The truth is we had not thought about sharing expectations until he brought it up! But it is one of the most important points for discussion with your partner before getting married. Some expectations we eventually did end up discussing were:

1. We would live on our own. In our culture, it is normal for the newlyweds to stay at the bride’s family’s home first. My husband and I wanted to be independent right away, so we hunted for an apartment to rent.

2. We would start building a family right away. Children could be a big part of your marriage, so aligning on family planning would be great. Both of us agreed that we would start trying for a baby right away. But life happens, and we both discovered we weren’t ready yet. We wanted to enjoy our newlywed life first! At least expectations were clear from both of us going in.

3. We would split the bills a particular way. Money is another big part of your marriage. Agreeing on how to manage finances is something you have to discuss. Talking about money could be awkward at first, but you have to do it.

4. We’d visit family once a week. My husband and I have close relationships with each of our own families, so agreeing to visit our parents and siblings once a week was something we both delighted in. We still try to do this as much as we can.

5. We wouldn’t force ideals on each other. His Mom is a fantastic cook, and I’m a crap cook, honestly. He was used to coming home to wonderful dinners and filling meals. I made it clear to him that I would try to learn how to cook, but not to expect anything grand. What happened was that our early newlywed meals were mostly take-out, but that was fine with him. (I’m still trying to learn how to cook.)

Discussing expectations isn’t easy, but it’s best to do so you and your partner are on the same page before getting married. It’ll make for an even healthier relationship, and you may discover more things about each other that you’d have to learn to adjust to. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

Photo by slfood02