My Grandfather’s Voice
—–Email Message—–
Sent: Sunday, November 25, 2007 7:44 PM
Subject: “Grandma Voicemail”My Grandfather passed just this week, and reading this postcard gave me an idea. My Grandmother was out of town, so I knew it would work, I called their home phone and after a few rings… I heard his voice.
Whoever you are, thank you for letting me hear him again.
– image and words from PostSecret
I miss my grandfather.
He passed away three years ago. The postcard above made me shiver, and I fought the threat of coming tears. While the tears didn’t spill, the sadness still arrived. The memory of his voice washed over me.
Let me tell you about my grandfather’s voice. It was deep and strong, very much like him. When he would sing, everyone would stop what they were doing and listen to him, only him. I remember him singing lullabyes to a cousin of mine. While it was that infant he was lulling to sleep, I remember riding along to the melody of his singing. It brought me comfort, a sense of home. It was a lullabye only he could sing.
His voice — it was commanding. My grandfather was a Colonel. He walked like a soldier, talked like a soldier. You always had to be on your best behavior around him. He did not demand it, but you would feel you had to give it. And when he spoke, all heads would turn to him. The staccato in his voice commanded attention.
His laugh — it was of the beautiful rhythm and strong beat of drums. He loved to laugh and crack jokes. He would always laugh at his own jokes too. I can’t tell you which was better — the way he would tell jokes, or the way his laughter would punctuate his jokes.
I would dream of him from time to time, but I don’t remember him ever speaking to me. He would always be smiling peacefully, radiantly. To hear his voice again would be comforting, but to dream of him comforts me enough. I know he is happy. I know he is well.
I still haven’t erased his number from my phone book. It’s just there. I’ve long accepted that he has passed on, but I still miss the inspirational messages he’d forward to me. I still miss him calling me and asking for tips on how to operate his cell phone. I miss his sharp “Hello” when I would call him. I miss hearing him request for garlic bread I used to bake for him. I miss his stories. I miss talking to him.
I miss his voice.
I miss him.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:25 am
classic shot….may smb pale pilsen sa tabi
November 26th, 2007 at 11:41 am
voices smells… they are just trigger memories…
great pic toni
Yup, voices trigger memories. I
November 26th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
I remember you writing about your great Wowo. He sure must be so proud with how you’ve turned out wherever he is!
November 26th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Oh toni, I call him Wawo as well, and it was his birthday today. Thank you.
November 26th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
aaaawww… that is sooo heartwrenching.. I got goosebumps all over, too bad I’m not that close to my grandfather, he couldn’t speak Filipino and I couldn’t talk fluently in Chinese
I only see him whenever I’m off to school or if my family and I were going somewhere so I would kiss his cheeks and say “Angkong, chaiwe” that’s the only time we would understand each other :/
November 26th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
haaay… i wish i “knew” my lolo and lola. they were gone before i even saw the light of day. although my lola on my mom’s side was here til i was in HS, i wish i knew my other grandparents. i wish they could go out and be the ‘mayabang’ grandparents that i always see with other people. they always say, “o si , na ngayon!” or “may apo na akong ! eh kayo?” i think there’s an exemption to being ‘mayabang’ when it comes to grandparents.
sadly, i don’t think i’ll ever really know…
November 26th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
I miss my gramps so much too :~~(
November 27th, 2007 at 1:28 am
you’re lucky you spent some time with your grandpa. i never met mine on my mom’s side. i know him through photos and from my grandma’s stories.
toni, send me your address at kaynismeanderings@gmail.com.
November 27th, 2007 at 5:17 am
Hi tonigirl, I miss him terribly… so many thoughts, experiences I would like to share with him. Thank you for keeping WOWO in your heart. He was very proud of you you know.
November 27th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
what a nice tribute to your lolo. im sure he appreciates the good words youve written
November 27th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
i was very close to my lolo, too growing up. but i can only wish i could write about him as beautifully as you did.
November 28th, 2007 at 6:08 am
aray…may kurot sa puso
you’ve always cherished your time with your wowo and we’ve gone with you on several rides through your blog. i pray that his spirit is where he needs to be in heaven and that im sure he is looking down at you beaming with pride with all your accomplishments…and your garlic breads too
November 29th, 2007 at 7:59 am
What a beautiful entry Toni. At least you were able to spend some time with him and I’m sure wherever he is, he’s proudly smiling at you.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:48 am
i loved this entry. thanks so much for sharing.
December 2nd, 2007 at 7:45 pm
this is a great piece toni… i’m sure your ‘wowo’ is smiling down from heaven. he must be so proud of you.
i see how my dad look and care for my sons now and it’s only now that i realize how my lolo must have felt for me. he passed away 2 years ago in manila; i feel bad that i wasn’t able to tell him all that i wanted to say.
December 3rd, 2007 at 3:42 am
My condolences to your loss. Today is the anniversary of my Mother’s death. I think I’ll watch her video.
December 3rd, 2007 at 7:31 am
It’s funny how i just read this entry and coincidentally had a dream with Wowo in it. It’s not the first dream i had of him, but always he seemed so real, so alive. I never really considered him gone. By the time we came here it just seemed that Wowo went back home. The last time i saw him was at their home. He was watching The Passion of Christ with Maymee. I didn’t stay long as i just dropped something over for them to bring for their US vacation. So when i said goodbye, it was just saying “see you later” with a hug till you get back from your trip. A trip that seems to go on for too long.
I was visiting my friend, when one of her kids called out to his grandpa saying “wowo”. Like most toddlers, they just don’t have the ability to clearly pronounce words starting with some letters, like “L”. I held back my tears for a second only to let them roll down my cheeks after excusing myself. I was told i had the same “L” problem when I was a toddler, which wa’s why I called my grandpa Wowo, and my cousins followed suit.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
From what the aunts told me, Kuya D was the one who came up with Maymee