Wifely Steps

Cross-posted from my writing prompts blog. A little fiction for a rainy Wednesday.

*****

i carried you (i carried you)

There he is again, walking past me.

Walking past me.

I gaze at him through piles of books, watch him talk to the librarian. His words are faint, but his lips read “Fiction” and “Poetry.” Quietly, I make my way to one section.

It takes twenty minutes before I see his familiar red sneakers entering Poetry “C”. I am holding an e.e. cummings book. I pretend to read it.

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

Through the corners of my eyes, I see him slowly making his way down the aisle. I feel my heart thump hard against my chest. I focus harder on the words before me.

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

He walks past me, but I feel him stop. His back is to me, I know. Looking at works by Darwish perhaps. I feel his presence, two feet away from me. It is the closest I have ever been to him.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

I will not have the guts to talk to him. I shake my head, tuck the book under my arm and turn to leave. Stupid me, thinking something would change, that something would happen. I sigh and take a step away.

“Jane?”

I turn around.

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

“Oh hi Jack!” I stutter in surprise.

He is smiling.

Smiling at me.

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

I smile back.

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

*****

Note: I own nothing but the storyline. The lines in italics are part of e.e. cumming’s “i carry your heart with me.”