Wifely Steps

It’s a Saturday night and I’m feeling fiiiiine. H is watching “Bitag” on Channel 13, my Mom is watching the Royal Wedding, my sisters are watching TV, my Dad’s somewhere in the area, and my cousin Maxine and her folks just left the house. It’s a family night. I miss this kind of evenings.

It’s back to work on Monday. It’s back to escalators and elevators, air-conditioning 24/7 and meetings left and right. It’s back to bumper to bumper traffic, taxi fare and food court lunches. It’s back to having to blowdry my hair in the mornings and worrying about the best time to leave work so as not to hit any jams.

Suburbian life has been kind to me. My stay here at this Pleasantville-like world has reinforced the kind of lifestyle I want to have. I like waking up with the sunlight streaming through my window, with the birds chirping a Good Morning. I like the dancing of the afternoon breeze and the quiet coming of the evening. No honking of horns, no speeding cars, no busy lights. Just the laughter of kids in the neighborhood playground and their screams of summer freedom as they ride their bikes. Bliss, I tell you.

Someday I will live beyond condominium walls. Someday I will live in a home with a huge garden in the middle of Pleasantville. Someday I will wake up in the mornings, brew my coffee, prepare my children’s lunchboxes and see them off to school. Someday. It all begins with a dream, doesn’t it?

For now, I see my city life as a transition to something better. I can’t stay in the business district forever. It’s draining. It’s energizing but too tiring for me. I used to want to live that way but now I’ve realized how I want to enjoy life on my terms.

The two weeks of sickness was a horrible event but a huge blessing too. I’ve come to realize all this, and now I have something more concrete to work for. I also want to stay close to my family, too. That’s something very Filipino, isn’t it? I have enjoyed my independence in the big city but I do want to see them more often. I’d like to live close to them. H agrees to that too!

Ah, realizations. I’m not looking forward to going back to the big city at all but all good things come to an end. Or should it be, the best is about to come? Positive thinking. Uh-huh. I will get my dreams someday — the dreams of a quiet neighborhood, sprawling greens and away from the fast-paced world of business. I will work for this. I just hope I don’t get too drained and get sick again to enjoy this kind of life!