Monthly Archives: July 2004

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

I’m turning 27 tomorrow. Do I feel my age? The truth is I feel older than 27. I feel I’m 30. I think it’s because I got tired of the craziness of youth early on and embraced the adult life immediately. I’ve gotten over my workaholic phase a long time ago. I’ve established a routine to keep my little household running well. I’ve gotten into the groove of my job. I’ve been managing my finances pretty fairly. However, I still have a lot to learn as I am far from mastering these things. I get tired just thinking of all the things I have yet to accomplish. Does one ever stop growing up?

My birthday wish is for me to have fun and relax. I wish that I can take hold of myself and strengthen my childlike wonder. I wish that I could lessen my being a worrywart. I wish that I could get to see life outside office windows and experience walking along the seashore once again. More than that, I wish that people around me would let go of their worldly cares and dance with the wind. It’s no fun celebrating life by myself.

So as I blow out the 27 candles on my birthday cake, I hope that I am not the only one wishing for all these to come true. I hope that you’ll blow out the candles along with me, so we can all experience this one big wish — to celebrate love, wonder, happiness, friendship, family, marriage, freedom, serenity and life together. =)

Wake up little susie!

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“Kailangan kasi ang katawan sinasanay. Kung maaga ka nagigising, edi makakaiwas ka sa trapik. Kung uma-umaga eh alas-kwatro ang gising mo, alas singko nasa daan, mild lang ang trapik non. Wala kang rason ma-late. Dapat ganong lang, sanayan. Kahit walang pasok, magigising ka ng alas-kwatro, tingnan mo. Tapos maiisip mo na, ay Sabado pala, tulog pa ako. O diba ang sarap ‘non?”*

Words of wisdom from yet another cab driver. As usual, the city traffic was heavy and I went about my usual staring off into space mode. Then I remembered a line from the book I was reading last night, “Strangers are just family you have yet to know.” I’ll give this a try. After small talk with the driver about the terrible jam, I asked a question that’s a sure-fire way to have a conversation with any cab driver, “Saan po kayo naka-garahe?” (Where’s your taxi based?) And so we talked for the whole ride — well, he talked and I listened. And that quote up there was one of the things I learned from him. I felt a bit guilty because that is so true for me. I keep indulging myself with “5 more minutes” and I hit the snooze button again and again. I do get more sleep but I end up in heavier traffic. What a headache. And so his advice was very timely.

I will try to make getting up at 5 am part of my 21-day-habit-building activity.

* Translation: “Your body needs to get used to it. If you wake up early, you’ll avoid traffic. If you wake up everyday at 4 a.m., you’ll be on the road at 5 a.m. with only mild traffic. You won’t have any reason to be late. It’s a matter of habit. Even when there’s no work, you’ll find yourself waking up at 4 a.m., you’ll see! Then you’d think, oh it’s a Saturday, I’ll sleep some more. Isn’t that good?”

Historical Survey

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What tip can I offer today? Well, based on what I learned from this survey, it’s to be optimistic and hang in there. Life isn’t all that bad, even if at a certain point in your life you feel like everything’s crumbling around you. In God’s graces, things will work out for you. Life has a lot of good surprises in store for us. As long as you keep that positive attitude, you’ll be okay.

10 Years Ago, I…
1. Still lived in my parents’ home.
2. Wanted to get a job in Finance.
3. Had a sort-of crush on my male best friend.

5 Years Ago, I…
1. Thought I’d never get married.
2. Was a workaholic.
3. Partied every night.

3 Years Ago, I…
1. Didn’t have a boyfriend.
2. Was a lot thinner than I am now!!!
3. Partied every other night.

A Year Ago, I…
1. Learned how to operate a mini-gas stove.
2. Cooked Sinigang na Hipon for the very first time.
3. Started Wifely Steps. (Happy 1st year anniversary!)

This Year, I…
1. Cleaned the bathroom for the first time.
2. Made a kick-ass Crab & Corn soup.
3. Became most conscious about budgeting household expenses.

Yesterday, I…
1. Amused myself with lessons from “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.”
2. Learned that the 21-day habit thing is working for my making-the-bed-as-soon-as-I-get-out-of-it-chore.
3. Had Spicy Tuyo, Fried Egg, Achara and Rice for dinner.

Today, I…
1. Tried The Grind’s “Fitness Groove” and found the workout a bit boring.
2. Worked too hard.
3. Promised myself not to drink softdrinks ever…

Tomorrow I will…
1. Fix my bookshelf.
2. Find time to get my hair cut.
3. Have something scrumptious for lunch…hmmm…

Bed and books

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So what’s the difference between sheets that are 50% polyester/50% cotton and 30% polyester/70% cotton? The latter may be of a softer texture but is prone to “himulmol.” (I think that translates to pilling in English.) Since H has allergies to those little things, we thought it best to go with the 50/50. Our friendly SM saleslady also said that the 30/70 make is prone to have more wrinkles (“Gusutin,” she said). Hey, who wants wrinkles? And so we got a wonderful geometric blue and white fitted sheet, two pillowcases and a flat sheet. I was expecting it to be a bit rough to the touch but it wasn’t so bad after all.

In other news, I picked out my [advanced] birthday gift from H yesterday. Yipee! I got a 5 1/2 ft. tall walnut bookshelf. Oooh, I can’t wait to place all my books there. I can scratch this item off my wish list.

Have a great week everyone! And I have a tagboard now, by the way.

And pump and squeeze and stretch!

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I have been trying to get back in shape. I started my aerobic workouts this week. I can’t believe that after only three mornings of exercising, I feel so much better about myself. I really hope I maintain this motivation to make myself healthier!

I have tried going to several gyms in the past, but over the years I have come to realize that I work out better when I’m on my own. I get bored with equipment. I feel uncomfortable with too many people around me. This is a cliche, but my biggest competitor is my own self. I can pump my arms faster, stomp harder, jump higher when I work out on my own. It also comes with the fact that I don’t worry about looking like a fool to other people, that’s why I give it my all.

I have pretty old VCD copies of MTV’s The Grind workout. They are so much fun! I love it because of the dancing. They take the usual aerobic steps and twist them into hip, dynamic ways of dancing. I have other favorites – Karen Voight, Denise Austin, someonewhosenameIforgot, Billy Blanks’ Taebo, but I find myself going back to The Grind, just because they’re just more fun.

To stay in or get back in shape, search for a form of exercise that will continually motivate you. Try to find out what workout works best for you and your personality. This will make getting out of bed easier for you, and hopefully, give you a healthier glow before you even know it!

Follow-up questions:
catsudon asked, “Who was your Philosophy 101/102 teacher?” My answer is Mr. Mike Mariano.
Lissa says, “Sana magkita tayo one day ulit, ‘no?” (I hope we see each other someday again!) To which I say, Lissa, I really think we will see each other someday.

Wifely answers

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Thanks to all those who indulged me in my last entry. I have to admit that I had a lot of fun! Why don’t you guys try the Q&A thing on your blogs?

Linnor, tiptoes & Mitch asked:
Where do you work and where did you study?
I work in an advertising agency based in Makati. I studied in Ateneo de Manila University. One big fight!

Junnie asked several Ms. Universe questions:
1. What is the essence of a true woman? Though Sushmita Sen said that the essence of a true woman is to be a mother, I disagree. Not everyone is meant to be one, after all. I answer this question with a character from the Dragonlance series: Laurana, the Golden General. She was the epitome of true beauty and was raised a very sheltered princess. Following the whispers of her heart, she broke through this stereotype and used her intelligence, strength, compassion to lead her people to victory against the Knights of Takhisis. A true woman does not take things sitting down. She is not submissive. She does not permit herself to be boxed in. I believe that a true woman acknowledges her passions and wholeheartedly pursues them. She does not permit femininity to be a disadvantage, but just like Laurana, turns her subtle strength into an advantage. This is what I strongly believe to be the essence of a true woman. I thank you. Mabuhay Philippines! [Bow!]
2. Should a wife be left doing the household work even if she is working herself? No. I believe that marriage is a partnership so that means managing finances together, taking care of the kids together, working on the household chores together.
3. What is your measure of a wife’s success? Healthy kids or loving husband. choose only one. Thank you, Judge Number 1. I will go with Loving Husband. I believe in the quote ‘The best gift a husband can give his wife is to show how much he loves her in front of their children.’ To have a loving relationship with my husband would help my children learn the values of trust, honesty and respect between two people, and where better place to start learning those values than at home? Who better to teach them these values but their parents? I thank you.

Ruth asked: “What makes you frustrated? Furious? Envious? Jealous? Act negatively? Your failures?” CG asked: ”What sets you off?”
Whenever I’m about to burst with anger, H would say, “Uh-oh, here comes the Wifey Monster…” And so I turn into a Wifey Monster because of the following things: Plans that do not push through. When I cancel on someone. Working with idiots. Telemarketers – I truly believe this service is a nuisance. When I set my heart on something and I can’t seem to get it no matter what I do. Fat days. A messy bathroom. Highly inconsiderate people (for example, those who play very loud heavy metal music for all the employees to hear in the middle of a busy workday). Running out of money. Getting my feet wet accidentally when I walk on a street after a rainy day. Slow computers. As for my failures, I hate it that I wasn’t able to finish my Master’s. Oh well, someday I will.

233 asked:
If life on earth would have been over tomorrow,
1) What would be your utmost regret? That I didn’t get the chance to be a mother.
2) What would be your prime consolation? That I did get a semi-experience in raising children through my kid cousins, niece and to some extent, my husband. Hehe.

Justice asked:
1) What are your fave dishes? I love Sinigang na Baboy. Tuyo. Adobong Manok. Tortang Talong. Inihaw na Tilapia. Galunggong. Angel hair pasta with tomato sauce. Tawilis. Shakey’s Garlic & Cheese Pizza with extra anchovies and pineapples. I’m getting hungry.
2) Do you have insecurities? Oh yes. I don’t like how my body looks. I think I’m really fat. It’s all in the mind though, but still, my weight makes me feel insecure.
3) (same as R’s question) What makes you furious? So many things. See my answers to her questions!
4) What’s your best asset? (terms of character ha?) I am very compassionate.
5) Where in manila do you come from? Mabuhay Philippines! My name is Toni and I’m from Quezon Cityyyyyy!

Tin asked: What are your views on homosexuality? I support the decisions these people make about their sexuality. I do not look at them any differently. I highly respect them for having the courage to come out and not feel that their sexuality is a trap or a handicap.

Pie asked:
1. Do you prefer English or Tagalog? I prefer English. I was raised speaking English. I think in English. I believe that the Filipino language is very beautiful, however I don’t speak it well enough.
2. Have you ever been to the states? Yes I have been to the States! I have relatives all over. I am looking forward to going back there sometime.
3. From what I understand the gap between the Filipino upper and lower classes is massive. Being on the upper end of that, how does that make you feel about living there? Simple. I honestly fear for my security everyday. It’s something I have come to cope with. I won’t discuss poverty. I won’t discuss how the upper class can also deter my security. I won’t go into the crimes that happen daily. This isn’t the place for that. But really pie, I do fear for the safety of everyone, most especially that of my loved ones’.

Carmela asked: What is the most endearing thing you’ve done for your husband? For his birthday last year, I collected notes and pictures from his friends and family from all over the world. I put them all in one scrapbook and added some artistic touches. He wasn’t expecting it at all. He was so touched!

Jeanny asked:
1. What’s your real name, as in your first and last name? Just call me Toni. For security reasons, we don’t want to post our full names now, do we? = )
2. What are your fave book/s? Veronika Decides to Die. The Alchemist. The Valkyries. The Dragonlance Chronicles. The Trouble with Thirteen. Good in Bed. In Her Shoes. The DaVinci Code. By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept.
3. Who was the last person that made you cry? Peter Parker. I cried during one of the scenes in Spiderman.
4. Lastly, what is the best part of being a wifey? Being together forever with my Husby.

Yupki asked:
1. What are your guilty pleasures? Getting a full body massage, a body scrub, pedicure and manicure. Buying tons of books. Eating ice cream. Eating Pringles (original flavor) and washing it down with ice-cold Coca-Cola.
2. Famous person (living or dead) you’d like to meet? OPRAH WINFREY! I just want to give her a hug.
3. What do you do when something angers you? I visualize ripping his/her hair out and snapping back, but that’s as far as I go. I usually keep quiet for awhile to collect all my thoughts. And then I answer back with stern words. Very stern words.

Question & Answer

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Don’t you find it amusing when people think that who you are in your blog is who you are in real life? I don’t think this blog even captures 50% of who I really am! Sometimes we think we know each other so well because of what we read from each other’s blogs — but as dieselnights said, “We don’t really know them, we just know what they want us to know.”

And so, I’d like you to ask me something you want to (or should?) know about me. It could be something obvious, or it could be something you have no idea about. I won’t bite so go ahead! Ask me a question.

Let’s start the week right!

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“Let us not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless when facing them.” – Rabindranath Tagore

Isn’t that such a beautiful quote? It applies to the smallest challenge to the biggest obstacle one might face. And so this weekend, I tried living that quote out. I got my butt off the couch — a big Sunday achievement!

Cubao Tripping. Instead of the usual resting we do on a Sunday, H and I got off our butts and rode the MRT to Cubao. We visited Farmer’s Plaza. I was surprised that it has developed really well. A year ago, it was had a pretty chaotic layout and quite a rowdy crowd, but this time, it was surprisingly peaceful. We walked around, checking out the new stores and the families doing their Sunday malling.

4th floor, Bargain Books. National Bookstore, Cubao, has a huge floor full of bargain books. It was my first time there and I was overwhelmed by the number of books! (I was also overwhelmed by the smell of used books, but oh well.) I didn’t buy anything, but I did enjoy going through each aisle. I’ll go back there someday and hoard children’s books (I collect’ em).

Remember Fiesta Carnival? After that short trip to the mall, we found ourselves in a lot where a Ferris Wheel stood. A few steps forward and we saw a Caterpillar and a couple more rides. Where were we?! It took awhile before we understood it — we were standing in the middle of Fiesta Carnival. We were saddened by this move. I remember Fiesta Carnival being INSIDE a really big building with a super high ceiling and food carts all around. They were moved out recently, and are now settled in what was once a huge parking lot. It was quite sad. H and I went to the Shooting Range for some fun. The sun was blaring hot though, so we had to drop our guns and seek refuge in the nearest mall.

Beat the heat! We then trooped to the SM Food Court to get hotdogs and sodas. I really like A&W’s Coney Dog and Rootbeer Float. Mmmmm. So we just sat there, laughing about our Sunday adventure, sipping on our ice cold drinks and just let ourselves cool off.

We didn’t really plan on this field trip of sorts. It was very much spur of the moment. Being one who likes everything planned, I found it hard to say yes to what H proposed, but decided to go for it anyway. I remembered the quote and so I put on my rubber shoes and said, Okay! Let’s go!

Face your katamaran (laziness). Face your boring routines. Be fearless when doing so! Be open to having an adventure, even if it’s just as near as Cubao. Who knows? Today Cubao, tomorrow Barcelona!

Flower Power

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I love flowers. I especially love daisies, gerberas and sunflowers. I find that gazing at flowers is therapeutic for me. I can get lost in their vibrant colors, the smooth skin of their petals, their garden fresh scent.

Try bringing flowers into your home. It’ll help a room come alive and feel more homey. Always have a fresh vase of flowers when a guest comes over. It’s a sign of sincerely welcoming your guest. If you have a yard, try turning even one corner into a garden of greens and bright colors. It will definitely cheer your yard up!

Here are some pictures of my Dad’s garden blossoms. I wish I had inherited his green thumb! Click on the thumbnails to get a bigger view.

Let’s go to the movies

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H and I have a weekly movie date. It’s a regular schedule I look forward to every week. Greenbelt 3 is our favorite movie date place because of the well-behaved crowd (no ringing cell phones in the middle of a movie), Chimara – where I get my favorite low-cholesterol & still delicious popcorn, Sureseats – I’m able to reserve my tickets online, Timezone – where we play before and after a movie. During weekends or on not-so-late week nights, we watch a DVD in our condo. Here are a list of our recent favorites we’d like to share with you. Hopefully you can still catch them at the local cinema, if not, go rent a copy from your local video store!

Beautiful Boxer. This is a true story based on Thailand’s famous transvestite boxer. Nong Toom believed that she was a woman trapped in a man’s body. She kickboxed her way to fame and fortune so she could reach her ‘ultimate goal of femininity’. It’s a “Triumph of the Human Spirit” kind of film with a twist. To quote a line from the film that struck me: “The hardest thing is trying not to forget who you want to be.” A lot will surely sympathize with Nong Toom as we too have whispers deep within our hearts that we listen to and want to be at peace with. If you’re in Manila, do try to catch it at Cinemanila. (As a bonus, H & I got to meet and shake hands with the director last night. How cool is that! And on a girly note, check out the guy named Nat, Nong Toom’s friend. He’s a cutie!!!)

Spider-man 2. I dare not write a synopsis of this film as everyone knows about this anyway. All I can say is, it’s better than the first, Tobey’s extra cute, there’s a part where he spoofs the back pains that were supposed to keep him from filming this sequel, I wonder why they didn’t pursue the Aunt May/Doc Ock romance, and it’s a movie that kept me at the edge of my seat with my hand doing a rhythmic up and down motion from the popcorn tumbler to my mouth. I LOVED IT! Hmmm. That was a mouthful.

Azumi. If you like samurai flicks, this is a must-see. It’s about a young, beautiful heroine trained since childhood to serve as the ultimate assassin. It’s a bloody film, but you won’t care for the blood one bit because of the beautiful Azumi and her swift, flowing and very graceful samurai moves. This has grrrl power written all over it — in blood no less.

Drumline. If you like drums, you HAVE to see this. Devon Miles is a young, super-talented drummer who earns a music scholarship to Atlanta A and T university, hoping to land a spot in the uni’s renowned marching band’s drumline. Miles is a headstrong character though, wanting to beat to the sound of his own drum, breaking away from the sound of the whole band. It’s a pretty predictable film, especially with the romance factor in, but the fantastic drumline showdowns make up for its predictability. I should look into getting the film’s official soundtrack.

Sleepless in Seattle. Okay, so this isn’t a recent fave, but I saw it on cable recently so it’s here in my list. This has been my favorite movie ever since it was shown in ’93. If you haven’t seen this, shame, shame, shame! (Kidding!) Anyway, the tagline says it all: “What if someone you never met, someone you never saw, someone you never knew was the only someone for you?” And of course, my favorite line in the film: “I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home… only to no home I’d ever known… I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic.” Aaah, yes. This is a movie that will keep you holding hands with your date all throughout.

That’s it. Get your popcorn out! Enjoy the movies!

Taxi Talk

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I don’t converse with taxi drivers. Whenever they would try to start a conversation with me, it’s either a political issue or a religious issue. I consider politics and religion two very touchy subjects. And so while the driver complains about the increase in gasoline prices or FPJ losing the presidential race, I just nod my head, give him sympathetic looks but absorb everything he’s saying. As one who studies consumer research, it’s highly important for me to be observant of these things.

It’s also difficult to engage in a discussion with the driver, as my opinion is most of the time poles apart from his. It was especially hard during the election fever. I would just bite my lip and listen to the driver campaign for FPJ. Though I wanted to do my part in convincing him that their were better presidential bets, I just kept my mouth zipped. After all, my life was in the hands of this stranger driving the car.

This morning was no different. The taxi driver complained about the fare reduction in the other regions of the country, complained about how the jeepneys had it going great for them. I listened to him intently as a researcher. But there was one more thing he said that struck not my brain anymore, but my heart:

“Kaya nga ako, nagpapasalamat na ako na wala akong sakit. Kahit na maraming problema diyan, basta walang sakit, masaya na ako. Basta nakakakain ng tatlong beses isang araw, nakakapamasahe, basta walang sakit. Pinapasadiyos ko nalang.”*

I looked at him and wondered if he was an angel in some way. It was as if he was telling me exactly what I needed to here. I myself have been pretty preoccupied with problems such as budgetting, our furniture, my yoyo-ing weight… but when he said those words, I felt my heart ache with a bit of shame and optimism at the same time. Here was a man who had not lost hope. Here was a man who strived hard everyday. Here was a man who was thankful for things we normally take for granted.

He was right. I said a silent prayer, asking God to bless this man and his day. I thanked God for sending this particular driver to me on a dreary Thursday morning.

Mr. Taxi Driver, wherever you are, thank you for reminding me about the little things I have forgotten. Thank you for reminding me that things aren’t all that bad. You’ve touched my life, and you don’t even know it.

* Translation: “I’m really thankful I’m not sick. Even if there are a lot of problems, as long as I’m healthy, I’m happy. As long as I get to eat three meals a day, am able to work, as long as I don’t get sick. I leave it all up to God.”

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